Living a Life of PRAISE



Grace

I just love how God works! It’s all about grace and I’m seeing that more and more in my life. When I first started walking with God I was in the midst of a lot of pain and suffering that I brought on myself. My life consisted of many drunken nights, many ideas of how to take myself out of this world, many abusive relationships, and many many drastic mistakes (pretty much daily). As I began to understand what it means to live for God and not just recognize Him I came face to face with grace. I started living a life that offered me peace and joy even in the chaos. I started thinking different and acting different and even dressing different. I didn’t deserve that second chance. What I deserved was death or jail or worse. So grace I was very familiar with.

However, over the years I think I used the word “grace” a lot but it was church language. God has since brought me back to the place where grace is all around. I’m looking back on how stubborn and closed-minded and prideful we were and I rack my mind with how God still blessed us! Even when we were unfaithful, He was faithful. I can’t comprehend that. And I don’t think I’m suppose to. Just as the bible says, “My thoughts are completely different than yours,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts”. (Isaiah 55:8,9) I read this and I’m overwhelmed. A sense of amazement fills me and I want to fall on my face. Why do I constantly think I know whats best? Why do I spend valuable time trying to figure out God? It’s really a waste. Time is precious and I need to lose myself in it by appreciating what I have which is first and foremost grace.

I think about many moms who have to work to get their family by and for some reason God has allowed me to stay home with my girls even in the midst of financial stress. I think of how I complain about not having a home then I get the opportunity to give a homeless man half our groceries as he walks off into the woods. I think of people who wait at bus stops and have to depend on others for transportation (which at one point was me since I didn’t have my license for 3 years), as I’m driving my own car. And the big one thats hit me lately is all we were given even with a prideful heart-big house, nice car, Matts music career, all for it to be taken away. The house has us in a hole that is very scary right now, the car was totaled, and the doors within the music industry were closed. BUT what remained was our marriage. What grew stronger and closer was our family. That is only because of grace.

Even as we move forward into the unknown and still wait on God for jobs and homes and whatever else lies ahead we can’t see, I can say I am madly in love with the One who gives and takes away. About a year ago I prayed for James 1:4 (worth looking up) to be true in my life. And now, here I stand “ready for anything”.

Right before my last post I questioned if I should blog anymore. I let the voice of “well you don’t get many comments” to play over and over in my head even though I know that doesn’t matter. Matt encouraged me to keep writing last Sunday but I told him, “Well God is going to have to give me a sign”. Hours later at church we were talking with a friend who said (with tears in his eyes), “Erin I read your blog and even though I was sad for you, I rejoiced”. I knew then I was to continue but this is where more and more blessings rain down because I have since gotten comments from people who “randomly” found my blog and encouraged me greatly. That doesn’t normally happen.

Thank you for your prayers and words. I desire humility for me and my family more than anything else right now. It’s tough but there are times during the day when I go from self pity to appreciation in a matter of seconds. I believe it is then someone is lifting me up. There is nothing like the encouragement that comes from brothers and sisters in Christ.

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Comments

  1. * Diana Boso says:

    Hi Erin,

    I know you didn’t write the part about not getting comments in order for people to speak up. But I guess I feel like it’s time. I’m friends with Ashley Dengler (she’s actually the one who first invited me to PC3!) and that’s how I found your blog a few months ago. I just want to encourage you to keep writing…your words help more people than you know. Remember, just because we can’t see the whole picture doesn’t mean God isn’t doing something great!!

    -Diana

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 10 months ago
  2. * emily says:

    Keep bloggin girl!!!

    *And I love your lay-out. Very nice. πŸ™‚

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 10 months ago
  3. God is so good isn’t he?!?! I have thought about your blog throughout my day today and lifted you up each time ;o) Here at home with five children under 7, I don’t always get the opportunity to fellowship outside of these four walls. Finding your blog was an answer to MY prayers as well!

    Someday I will give you my testimony, but for now I want to share with you that it is in the times that I feel the most stripped of comfort that I have found myself closest to Abba Father.

    GRACE to you this afternoon, Erin!!

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 10 months ago
  4. * 704hollyandrich says:

    Hey Erin,
    you know each day I get on here I can’t wait to see what God is doing in your life. He continues to mold you and shape you into this beautiful person both inside and out. Your realness encourages others to be real, and your faithfulness proves that God never moves, no matter if we choose to or not! I read a great quote this morning, and I thought and thought about it all througout the day, and then when I read your blog I smiled……My heart was warmed and I prayed for you and Matt. “Contentment comes in striving, learning and growing,. Becoming can be more satisfying than achieving” BECOMING…is the hard part, but its also the time where we hold onto Christ with everything we have, we are and we beg God to just do something! I remember the first time we talked on the phone, and we just clicked! Your personality is such a breath of fresh air, your smile and laughter is so contagious! Erin you are touching the lives of people you don’t even know! Be encouraged, KEEP BLOGGING! and know that when God looks at you, He is pleased!!!!! I love you sweets! Beauty Within…SCREEEEAAAAM:) I saw it on the Christianhappenings.com site…it said headliner…MATT BLAIR!!! woooo hooooo I AM SO EXCITED! Tell Matt to add Joyful noise coffee house to his myspace for others to see! Its going to be that evening after beauty within. (7:00) CALL ME CALL ME!!!

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 10 months ago
  5. * Katie Cottle says:

    Hey Erin! I am so glad your hubby sent me your blog. I have missed keeping up with your family and seeing your sweet heart! I am thankful for your heart for ministry!!!

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 10 months ago
  6. * ashley says:

    i don’t just read your blogs – i LOOK FORWARD to your blogs. bring ’em on πŸ™‚

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 10 months ago
  7. * Kristen says:

    Erin, I found your blog by accident on someone’s facebook page that I know from PC3, can’t remember who now. Just wanted to tell you I read it every now and again and although I might not always comment I always take something away from it. I think it’s good to have an output of our thoughts and rants! Keep it up.

    Also, I found myself inclined to pray the other day at the gym and I thought of you because I beleive I read some random time that you were praying at the gym…see I don’t even know you and you’re helping me…pretty cool!

    Take care and I wish you all the best!

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 10 months ago
  8. * Kir says:

    Keep writing. I don’t comment often, but I read. You are very encouraging!

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 10 months ago


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