Living a Life of PRAISE



Highs and Lows

This day went from having amazing moments with my girls and praising God in the car to horrible moments between Matt and I. I am asking for prayer for us. We are realizing we have made a mess in our life regarding finances, pride, and image. Some of the heartache in Clarksville could have been avoided had we not been blinded by our pride. What we have since learned is we must always remain open!! While living in Clarksville we had friends speak truths to us about the path we were going down (that we thought was what God wanted) but we didn’t LISTEN. We thought something was wrong with them. It couldn’t possibly be God wanting to redirect us or humble us or remind us HE is God, not us. We had everything mapped out and figured out only to find out a year later, it was not what God wanted.

We have always lived above our means and now that we’re not, we’re suffering the consequences of years of bad decisions. We won’t get out of this place overnight. And as we’re taking baby steps we see why people divorce over financial stress. Today I was ready to check out. That’s scary to admit but I know I’m not the only one who has gotten to that place. Matt and I are seeing marriages crumble all around us and today I felt like we were “one of them”.

Psalm 40 is my only HOPE right now. Funny how HOPE is the theme God gave me for this women’s conference that is in the making. He doesn’t want me to forget I am the one walking through those doors in need of the same thing everyone else is and thats HOPE. As I go to bed tonight I’m not where I want to be in this matter but I am closer to God by seeing His faithfulness in the midst of our disobedience. This is grace.

If there is one thing I know, its that we’re in need of healing. I believe God has brought us back here to Wilmington to heal. Heal from past mistakes, heal from resentments, and heal from wandering. That process has finally begun.

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Comments

  1. * 704hollyandrich says:

    Erin,
    When I read this I hurt for you. You and Matt both want what God wants, and not always do we let our decisions reflect that, but by you recognizing and doing something about it shows your heart. The reason marriages and friendships and dreams often crumble is that we tend to take Christ out of the equation. We follow our own desires, we let reality checks become bitterness and so on and so on. I am praying for a revival within your marriage, and in your home as you get back to that place of feeling secure in the unknown but feeling safe. Satan knows your weaknesses and he knows your vulnerabilities and he knows where to hurt you! You and Matt are one, and he knows this…I am praying for some drastic change……I love you! I am here if you need to talk, or pray pray pray! and you know I will! Holly<

    | Reply Posted 9 years ago
  2. * Shane says:

    It sounds like we are both going through some despair moments right now. I’ve been in and out of those pits for the last 7yrs. View my blog and see if I can be an encouargment for you. I’d be happy to be a listening ear if you need one. I’ll be praying for you tonight. (I found your blog via wordpress suggestion that we had similar posts)

    | Reply Posted 9 years ago
  3. * mommagigi says:

    Erin,
    I am with you and understanding in every way what you’re going through. Mark and I are reaping seeds that we’ve sown into our finances that look disastrous, hopeless and impossible. It’s so tough because encountering church “folk” who tell us what we shouldn’t have done, and what not to do aren’t very helpful to our current place. I trust God and know his mercy and grace was new today and it will be tomorrow and every day after that. I love the story in 2Kings 7 of God changing what looked impossible, and we both know the Bible is full of those stories, and we both know that He changed you and me. We know He can, we must KNOW he can.
    Praying for you.
    Gina

    | Reply Posted 9 years ago
  4. I am not sure HOW I came upon your blog, but somehow (by clicking here and there during this unusual quiet time in my home) I am here.

    Reading your post, I was moved by your transparency and your, almost eager, desire to repent (turn) from this sins of your past. You weren’t trying to cast blame onto someone else and you weren’t shifting guilt. That is admirable!

    I don’t believe in coincidence, so I am accepting the Lord’s calling on my heart to pray for you and Matt. I am reminded of the parable of the prodigal son and how, when he returned to his father’s home, dirty and smelly from working with the pigs, his father RAN to meet him and threw his arms around him and said, “My son! My son! You are home a last!”. I am praying that the Lord now runs to meet you and Matt and throws His healing & protective arms around you both.

    Blessings to you new bloggy friend!
    ~Angela

    | Reply Posted 9 years ago


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