Living a Life of PRAISE

I just want to sleep

It is 11:20 pm and I am desperate for sleep. Matt totaled our Suburban yesterday in a wreck but thankfully is okay. This happened in the blink of an eye and our life has been a whirlwind since. He left soon after the accident to go out of town which makes all of this that much more of a strange thing. We were suppose to go too but that obviously changed with not having a car. I hate it when we’re not together because of the disconnect. Its the worse feeling in the world to me. Its like we’re living two different lives. To top that off his phone broke in the accident and mine is now dying and my charger is at another location we were staying. I’m at Matts moms tonight and all of us-Kaylee and Abi and I are in the same room. Kaylee is still not asleep and was driving me crazy so I had to come out to write. Abi now gets up twice in the middle of the night so I am praying for a miracle tonight that she will sleep sleep sleep because I feel like I’m losing my mind.

All I keep telling myself is God is using all of this for His good. I’m missing stability and structure in my life. God really is all we have with no car and being in limbo of where we’re staying here in Wilmington and what our future holds. I can see God taking our car from us because its easy to make things of this world an idol and I’ll admit I’ve done that numerous times with the Suburban. As a matter of fact, the last time I saw it I thought-we really have a nice car (and it wasn’t in a thank you Jesus way. It was more like-look at what we drive). Now its forever gone, along with the high monthly car payment. I look forward to getting rid of this house too so we can rent something much smaller. Simplyfying is freeing because there is no room to be materialistic. If there are things in my life that are going to tempt me away from making God number 1, then I want them out of my life. All I keep thinking about is “He gives and takes away.”

And now Abi’s crying and Kaylees yelling, “momma!”…


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