Living a Life of PRAISE



The Crazy Pill

I took Abi into the doctor the other day and because she hadn’t gained much weight, the doctors recommended I take a pill that will help my milk supply. So I did and let me tell you it made me CRAZY! It made me feel like I was coming out of my skin so I decided to read the side effects which said: drowsiness, weariness, dizziness, restlessness, jitteriness, anxiety, agitation, confusion, headache, trouble sleeping, or diarrhea. Needless to say I had all of those except the last one-thank God. It was the strangest feeling because I had no control over my body or mind. Today is my 6 years clean from all drugs and alcohol which I appreciated that much more after this experience. Anything that enters my body and can alter me, I am not a fan of. I stopped taking the pill and this morning woke up feeling like a new person. I even had an awesome quiet time which was encouraging because its been a while since I’ve wanted to spend one on one time with God.

I think I experienced the “loss of booby milk” scare because God wanted me to check my eating and exercising habits. I have to eat alot more when breastfeeding (especially with working out) but because we were low on money and not wanting to budge on using our credit card, I was just getting by with the basics and I need more than that. Matt definitely budged after the doctors visit and used a credit card for groceries. He came home with pop tarts and ice cream for me. The lesson I learned in this was he wanted to do this all week but I was the miser in the family. I should have just let him lead. After my moms group on Wednesday someone left an envelope with $100 cash in it and that day we received $200 worth of random checks from people in our mailbox. Just in time for the battery in our car to go out but thankfully we had the money to take care of it right away.

Humility is the continuous lesson in our life right now as Matt went to our church for help and also had to speak with Kaylees school about not having the money to pay this month and taking her out of preschool because we can’t afford it. Sometimes “making the need known” is more about obedience then the actual outcome. That same day Matt went to do our taxes-talk about nervous. We prayed before hand that we would just break even and wouldn’t you know we did much better than that. We were so excited because we could pay this months mortgage as well as next! I don’t ever want to lose the appreciation of being able to pay bills, even if its late.

But back to my quiet time this morning. Matt and I spoke at the college ministry here about relationships the other night and it was awesome! Thank you everyone for your prayers because we had alot of fun and it seemed to be received well. I was talking to a girl afterwards who was telling me how her boyfriend stays the night at her place and as much as they know they shouldn’t do that, they continue to. She said, “I have given God my job situation but I haven’t given him this.” She immediately texted him saying they needed to talk. I was so proud of her but what stuck with me was the surrendering aspect of it all. After coffee with a friend the next day I asked God-what am I not giving you? The answer was clear-our future. I still have in my head how I want it to look. So I got on my face and said-“okay God-I will go and do and be all that You want. Whatever that looks like. I have no reservations anymore. I just want You to move and for us to follow. The crazier that movement is the more its probably You in the mix so bring it on!”

With that prayed I read this in My Utmost for His Highest:

IF OUR HOPES SEEM TO BE EXPERIENCING DISAPPOINTMENT RIGHT NOW, IT SIMPLY MEANS THEY ARE BEING PURIFIED. EVERY HOPE OR DREAM OF THE HUMAN MIND WILL BE FULFILLED IF IT IS NOBLE AND OF GOD. BUT ONE OF THE GREATEST STRESSES IN LIFE IS THE STRESS OF WAITING FOR GOD. HE BRINGS FULFILLMENT, ‘BECAUSE YOU HAVE KEPT MY COMMAND TO PERSEVERE…” (Rev. 3:10)
CONTINUE TO PERSEVERE SPIRITUALLY.

I started reading Habakkuk this morning and when I got to the end I was so excited to read something that made so much sense to where I’ve been. I love the Word but lately its been a struggle to get in it and even then its just doing it and I don’t seem to grow or hear from God. Habakkuk 3:16-19 is for anyone who may feel their life is falling apart or not making sense. It ends with… “YET I will rejoice in the Lord!…” I haven’t done much of that lately but starting today I’m getting back to being grateful and rejoicing with the blessings of 2 healthy girls and a husband that loves me deeply and a marriage that is on fire and friends/family that care.

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  1. * Holly says:

    hey hey! I love how you deal with things head on! I continue to pray for guidance for your next chapter…and also I pray for CHANGE! God bring change in a way that we can’t mistaken it for anything other than YOU! love ya girl! call me soon:)Holly<

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 4 months ago


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